Jujitoine kitchen tricks

Authors: Juji and Antoine

Published: Summer 2005

Kitchen tricks!

Aside from the kick, flip, and twist tricks: Antoine and I have decided to put together a small write up on kitchen tricks. We tossed this together in a couple afternoons, because let's face it, we didn't feel like eating that much whey (at least I didn't, I think Antoine breathes that shit). Anyway, let em roll!

Oatmeal supremacy

• Hypermode - Oatmeal is a popular breakfast food. It's a common diet staple because it kicks the shit out of all proprietary cereals, breakfast pastries, etc; It's better for you, cheaper, faster, and more versatile! Buy the old fashioned 100% rolled oats kind in cylinders or bags, skip the bullshit flavored packets.
• Anyway... Cooking rolled oats is easy, you just measure what you want - add water - and stove it or microwave it until it bubbles up.
• Egg trick: Have you had your protein today? Obviously not if this is your breakfast. I saw Antoine do this one and I was like Whoa! That's pretty convenient! Yes. Do this if you are pressed for time, don't want to wash extra dishes, or just want to add bulk to your oatmeal; Just crack the egg in the oatmeal. Eggs and oatmeal are a good breakfast combination, put em together!
• Mix it up and microwave. How does it taste? Pretty much the same except the oatmeal is silkier. Obviously if you add more oatmeal the egg will be less noticeable, more egg - vice versa. Try the egg in oatmeal trick.
• Mix tricks: As mentioned, oatmeal is versatile. Some things you can add to your oatmeal might include: Fresh or canned fruits, whey, cinnamon, nuts, ground coffee, knox unflavored gelatin, and if you are a real wuss, splenda or sugar.
• Here we have added whey, raw red peanuts, giant apple slices and blueberries.
• It's heaven! Try all sorts of different fruits like sliced bananas, sliced strawberries, or shit - even grapefruit. Have fun with it!

Omelet + Whey = Wheymelet

• Another one of Antoine's ideas, the wheymelet is... like a breakfast dessert thing. Anyway, crack some eggs and ditch the yolks if you please. Keeping the yolks shouldn't change the taste of the wheymellete, but it could change the color, it's really up to your own preference. Here we have cracked four eggs and have removed the yolks with a spoon.
• The gang includes whey, egg whites, cream of wheat, water, and some fruits.
• Combine the whites, whey, and just a little bit of water into the blender and blend for a couple of seconds.
• Add the cream of wheat as the blender roars, one serving should suffice.
• Pour the mixture into a large cooking pan. Remember the rule of omelets: Larger surface area = faster cooking. Thin and large provides for an optimum wheymelet experience.
• Slice up some fruit and your set. Here we have used orange flavored whey and sliced up some strawberries and raspberries.
• Look it flips! No mess!
• And you're left with some pancake - omelet type thing that is clean and satisfying.
• Eat.

Return of the blender!

• The all mighty shake can provide a whole new level of health and interest into your diet. Shakes are fun, fast, and ridiculously versatile. Let's make some liquid meals.
• INGREDIENTS! - BOOM!
• Vegetables: Most people will probably think you're crazy when you jam an entire garden into the blender. Actually, this is one of the reasons I love blended shakes - you can get stuff in easily that you don't really like to and enjoy it at the same time. My favorite vegetables to drop in the blender are green ones. I find spring mixes with different types of green leafy veggies (raw spinach, as an example) and broccoli work best because huge quantities of them remain unnoticeable for the most part. You can add a whole variety of other vegetables too, but be careful with some! One day I decided to toss two entire tomatoes in the blender with too much ice and unflavored whey, I suffered 64 ounce hell.
• Oh yay! Chocolate broccoli, one of my all time favorites!
• Fruit: Fruit is almost synonymous with the idea of blended shakes. It really doesn't matter which fruit you pick, you can't go wrong. Frozen berries work as good as fresh - sometimes better. Try chopping a fresh banana up and freezing it in a ziploc bag. It provides the same flavor without the need for excessive ice to chill the shake during blending. But don't stop at just one type of fruit, try a whole lot of em! Antoine and I tossed some cantaloupe in one and were pretty surprised at how it affected the flavor of the shake. Go for it.
• OH NOES!
• Protein: Another word that's almost always tacked on as a prefix to the word shake - Protein / like Protein shake. Most people just settle for whey because it's usually sold in flavors, like chocolate - vanilla - strawberry etc / but don't stop there. You could try casein protein, powdered egg protein, etc. You can add whole eggs (if you are only adding egg whites cook them in the microwave first - it allows the protein to be far more digestible and it also deactivates avidin which prevents the absorption of biotin if active.), cottage cheese, milk, gelatin packets, nuts, even meat like canned tuna! TUNA?! WTF? - yeah, look anything can become a shake! A shake is an art form! You've got to be creative to get the most of out the shake's potential. Anyway, protein usually thickens the shake up pretty good - especially cottage cheese. Get it in.
• Carbohydrates: Oatmeal works great in a shake. Other options include cream of wheat, grits, and even cooked pasta! If you are on a mass building diet or just want to gain weight add some maltodextrin. Most weight gainer products marketed by major supplement companies are usually nothing more than a bunch of protein powders packed with some aminos and an assload of maltodextrin and flavoring agents. Maltodextrin is cheap, so making your own weight gainer shakes is easily done. But why settle when you can add a more healthful source like oatmeal?
• Fats: Yup. Eggs again, nuts, olive oil, flax, coconut, etc. It takes an insane amount of oil to alter the taste of most shakes, so yeah - even though the idea of adding olive oil to your shake might disgust you / it'll probably go unnoticed in most normal meal shakes. You need your healthy fats in your diet, the shake can help
• Supplements and flavor extras: Boosting the nutritional value of a shake is easy, so is boosting the taste. For added flavor try cocoa powder, cinnamon, ground coffee, or splenda. For coffee and splenda, the best idea would be to mostly limit their consumption. If you add whey powder it's usually artificially and/or naturally flavored anyway, so why add them unless you are using unflavored whey or just jammed an entire fish and a dozen radishes into your shake? As for supplements, try super foods like brewer's yeast or natural honey.
• A closer look. FIBER THERAPY! You should be able to toss pills in the blender, most can take care of the task - like a multivitamin or liver pills. Some supplements are in powdered form capsulated in a gelatin shell, open them up and add if you desire.
• Magic bullets: Antoine and I have come to the conclusion that the four biggest flavor influencers of a shake are flavored whey, bananas, cinnamon, and splenda. If you want to change the taste of any shake - adding any of the following will take it elsewhere. For example, no matter what else you put in a shake, if you add a banana you WILL taste it. It's flavor is very strong and usually always noticed. If you add chocolate whey to a shake, it's going to become a chocolate shake. Get the idea? These four ingredients will almost always alter the flavor of a shake if added in normal quantity.
• Antoine is cool and in control. Does he know what he's doing? Yes. He knows exactly what he's doing. After all this discussion on shake versatility, Antoine's shake is looking excellent.
• Jujimufu is not cool, not in control. Does he know what he's doing? No. He has reverted to stabbing the stuck mass of junk residing at the bottom of the blender with a steak knife. After all this discussion on shake versatility, his shake just isn't blending. Let's hit the next sub topic:

Master the blender

Adapted from the old Meal replacement-replacement article : Take these tips from a master blends man (Juji) : I work at a sports bar that makes these things and I've gotten a few tricks down on how to make the shakes perfect. Ummm... Take no note of the previous slide of me stabbing the shake with a steak knife. Okay here are the tips... Tip: This one is simple - keep the lid on when you first start blending. Remove it after the initial spin. Tip: Always add less liquid (In this case milk) than you need / you can always add more later. Tip: When blending, blend the wet ingredients together first all together. Tip: Add the dry ingredients (The powder) gradually or else you'll have a lot of it stick to the side. Also start at the lowest speed and continue increasing the blender's speed gradually instead of starting it at the top. Tip: Use the on / off ice crushing action to blend. This means hit on, off, on, off repetitively every few seconds. This gets it sucking down the dry ingredients and releasing air pockets. Tip: Wash your blender immediately after you are done - or you'll face hell.

Tuna tricks

• TUNA FISH! A popular, quick and inexpensive meat meal. Don't even start the This canned fish is better than this canned fish discussion, I don't want to hear this crap. Yes there are lots of different fish in the sea, but today we are going with what's cheapest and most readily available: Chunk light canned tuna fish. Well, most people just settle for the sandwich or eat it plain. How about a middle ground?
• Middle ground #1: A.1. sauce is good shit. Apart from the traces of corn syrup and sodium, if used semi-sparingly there is nothing wrong with adding it to a can of tuna. Too lazy for a sandwich but want a kick? Just use some A.1 - try munching on tomatoes or something on the side. Mouthful of meat and veggies = the win.
• Don't even bother with a plate, just top the contents and dig in. Oh, try adding hot sauce instead if you're into that sort of thing. Hehe.
• Middle ground #2: No bread? On a low carb diet? Or are you just sick of sandwiches? Try the tuna bell pepper trick. Cut the top off a bell pepper and stuff it with tuna or tuna salad. (Note: Tuna salad could = Mayonnaise, tuna, relish, and hard boiled egg whites.)
• The half eaten result, eaten like an apple.

Hot salad

• Who said salad has to be cold?
• Chop that shit up and steam or low boil for a short period of time!
• Add meat, cheese, spices, oils, etc. HOT SALAD!

Knox Gelatin

• OH NOES! WHEY IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO USE ALL THE TIME!
• Save yourself some money and supplement your meals with Gelatin. 8 grams of protein per packet. I mean, sure it says: Not a significant source of protein on the label, but have you ever wondered why? Antoine and I investigated the amino acid profile of Gelatin and found it lacks the amino acids Tryptophan and Cystine. Without them the body won't find a use for it. Tryptophan and Cystine are found in most complete protein sources, so as long as gelatin is added in with a source containing Tryptophan or Cystine, you'll be both adding useful protein to your meal as well as saving money.

Conclusion:

This concludes our first volume of kitchen tricks. I feel that this installment covers the basics and provides for more lateral thinking during meal preparation. Hopefully the ideas here pop the light bulb above your head and please you! Have fun.