Kitchen tricks (2)

Author: Juji

Published: Fall 2006

Kitchen tricks volume 2!

It's that time again. Time to add more time saving, healthy, cheap shot tricks to your culinary repertoire with the second volume of kitchen tricks! This time Antoine isn't around, so it's a Jujimufu day! And Jujimufu is feeling mighty horny. I mean... It's time to trick in the kitchen!

Reduce sodium in canned meat

Cheap berries and other fruits

Purchasing fresh blueberries, raspberries, and black berries is like taking a gun out and pumping your wallet full of lead. Fresh berries are expensive and aren't always as nutritious as their frozen counterparts. Why? Fresh isn't always fresh. Fresh produce will sit out in the store for days rotting. Frozen fruits and berries are picked and flash frozen, retaining much of their nutritional value. Thaw them out by tossing them in a colander (the same one you de-sodiumized your canned meat in) and rinsing them in luke warm water. Or umm... Add them frozen into shakes. Add in frozen berries to really hot oatmeal and it cools the cooked oatmeal and thaws the berries simultaneously. Buy frozen fruits FTW!

Frozen veggies in a shake

A quick addition to the madness in the first kitchen tricks series, frozen vegetables in the shake! Why frozen veggies? Because colder ingredients will reduce the amount of ice needed to get the drink cold. Less ice is good. Less ice results in better taste and consistency, while less ice also enhances the shake life.

Personal recommendations: Any vegetables that fit in your blender frozen. Frozen broccoli, green beans, chopped spinach, whatever. This brings us to our next trick:

The classic frozen banana

Eat pumpkin.

Soap smoothie

Cottage cheese tricks

I've always felt cottage cheese was similar to oatmeal in versatility. You can dress it up in a number of ways by adding in different stuff; Or, you can dress other meals up by adding in cottage cheese. Here are some no brainers and a couple nifty little nuggets:

No brainer: Add cottage cheese to a salad. Just try it.

Nifty nugget: Add in some fiber or flax meal into your cottage cheese. Since cottage cheese tends to bind you up, the additional fiber is a welcome addition. Plus (+) The fiber will slow digestion. If you are eating cottage cheese in your sleep stack, adding in a serving of fiber (psyllium husk seed) such as that in Metamucil or a store brand equivalent, is gonna be awesome. Flax seed is also high in fiber and a great source of EFAs, add that in too.

No brainer: Thaw out some of those frozen berries we talked about earlier and mix them in the cottage cheese. Try adding in some nuts.

Nifty nugget: Add crystal lite. Yeah, you know the sugar-free drink stuff. You can buy a box of that crystal lite on the go stuff for use in water bottles, dump that in your cottage cheese and mix it up. Soon you'll have some clown shit that tastes... Well it'll taste good or bad depending on the flavor of crystal lite you choose. Lemonade, in my opinion, is definitely a no no. Raspberry ice is pretty good though. You can also try some flavor packs from true / I'm one of the few privileged people (I'm sure) who has had root beer flavored cottage cheese. Pretty kick ass if I say so myself.

Crystal lite + cottage cheese

No brainer: Don't care for flavor but want to sweeten it up a tad? Just add a bit of splenda, or sugar if you could care less about the additional carbohydrates.

Nifty Nugget: Cottage cheese veggie dip. Just mix a little bit of milk with some cottage cheese and half a package or so of onion soup mix or vegetable soup mix. Grab your veggies and snort like a pig!

No brainer: Add whey. Chocolate whey + Cottage cheese = Chocolate cottage cheese. Uhh duhh... And so on and so forth for all the other infinite flavors of whey.

Final piece: The cottage cheese desert! This is more of a cheat meal depending on what exactly you add from the following suggestions: You can add in some sugar-free jello gelatin for a guilt free adventure into the world of cottage cheese and jello. Add in whipped cream, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, caramel, ice cream. Yeah, this has gotten out of hand.

Enough cottage cheese tricks.

Hot sauce

Captain obvious here to report the following: You can replace high fructose shit syrups and high carbohydrate sauces with a good hot sauce. Hot sauce is infinitely manlier (if you're a male), sexier (if you're a female), and healthier (if you're a male or female). Hot pepper sauces heat things up quick and clean off driveway grease stains!

Microwave eggs (in cup, glass, or mug)

This is another filler, not a really good trick. Anyway, try cooking or eating certain foods out of a mug. There is something cumbersome about a bowl when you just want an egg or two. Put them in a mug, whip em up even faster, and microwave. Now you have eggs in a cup! You can eat other foods out of a mug too; Don't limit yourself to plates and bowls.

Eggs in a cup


Cheap flax (and crushed testicles)

Not normal pancakes


This concludes volume two of the kitchen tricks series. All these suggestions are ridiculously elementary and stem from a small pool of ideas, but that's just because they are very versatile; I'm just showing that off. Go try out some of these suggestions as soon as possible, I'm sure some of them will make you wonder how you ever lived without em!