L7frost
Jun-06-06, 09:56 PM
Okay so on friday, I was workin on corks, and the most ridiculously mindblowingly crazy thing happened. I wrote out the story to post on my xanga and it's been pretty popular so I figured I may as well post it here as well, and here it is verbatim from what I posted on my xanga, and 100% true, despite how unbelievable it may seem. Prepare for a long read haha. Ahem!
The Story of the Corking Deer
By: Allen Agunday
June 1st 2006 started as any normal boring day. I got up at the crack of noon (haha), and had a quick breakfast-lunch-lunchfast-whatever of what was available to microwave in the fridge (on that day I turned out to be lucky..there was rice and stirfry!). Afterwards I did my morning routine of stretches and an episode of korean drama before breaking out the books for a full day of studying. Eventually I got around to starting my readings and note taking for the day, and did that for the next 4 or 5 hours. That much nonstop studying will kill anyone, so after my 5th consecutive hour on integrals (hooray calculus), I decided to go for a random walk.
So I got up from my desk and just started walking around aimlessly. At first I just walked in circles around my house, then after realizing how pointless that was, I decided to take a walk outside..you know, to soak up some vitamin D. So off I went onto the great outdoors..of my street. I had no real destination and just wanted to walk so I just started walking mindlessly in the first direction that came to mind. In this case, it was left. Eventually, I came to the end of my street (alas, every journey must come to an end..), and was just about to turn around when I noticed a bike path off to the side. It was further exploration of this mysterious path or more integration I thought to myself, and decided that the fundamental theorem of calculus could wait another hour.
Down the path I went, soaking up the sun and enjoying the feeling of the cool breeze and the sound of birds chirping. As I walked further and further down the path, I noticed a patch of really green grass off in the distance. As I got closer and closer, I realized that it was a large soccer field hidden amidst the trees. " Ehh, wtf?" I thought to myself as I approched, and when I finally got to the field I was in awe. This was the most beautifully kept grass of any field id ever been on, completely isolated in the middle of a forest ( i later discovered I had stumbled onto the portugese club soccer field ). It was the perfect height; just long enough that when you step on it, it matts down a bit to provide more cushioning, and just soft enough that you could smash your face on it and get up smiling. In essence, it was THE tricking field. So obviously, I just had to bust out a few tricks and have an impromptu training session then and there.
I threw out a few kicks at the beginning, but took it slow since I was still so sore from taekwondo a couple days before. Eventually I got into the groove of it and started throwing the usual btwists, doublelegs, 540hooks etc, and trying to work them into combos. After awhile, I ran out of tricks I had mastered and figured I may as well work on stuff I need to learn before TO gathering. In my case, this was the infamous Corkscrew; which for the uninformed, is a move where you setup with a spinning step, throw your first leg into the air straight up, then twist on a horizontal axis 540 degrees, before landing. Done right, it's a jaw droppingly impressive move. It took a few false starts for me to gather the courage, but eventually I got around to throwing a preliminary attempt. So up and up I went, spin spin spin, then as expected, my first big wipeout of the day. I spit out the grass that I had eaten and gave it another go. Another crash. Then another. And another..and another...
Eventually I started getting bruised up, and was losing confidence. " Okay, once more" I resolved to myself, and gave it another go. So up up up I went, twisted hard...and found my self face down on the ground again, with a mouthful of grass. But as I sat up, I saw the most beautiful sight ever. Out from between the trees, emerged a young deer, its delicate frame majestically set against a backdrop of sunlit forest. It was straight out of a movie, like that one scene in "Princess Mononoke", where the protagonist sees the elk emmerge from between the trees. We looked at each other, and in that instant, I felt in touch with nature. I could feel every blade of grass, the flow of the air, and time seemed to stop. I had achieved...bankai..
" Thank you, Mr. Deer.." I thought to myself, and the fawn disappeared into the forest. " Alright, just one more time, I will own you, corkscrew.", I said to myself with a strenghtened resolve, and vowed to give it one final shot. So I dug my heels in, took the step, turned over, and kicked as hard as I could into the air. Up and Up I went twisting with all my might, as fast as I could. And I saw the ground..I had spotted the ground! All it would take was to stick my leg down and..
..I crashed. The biggest, hardest wipeout I've ever had trying to learn any trick. I crashed flat on my left side, was completely winded, and could see all the stars in the nightsky. But I had landed on my side..what was going on..I had overrotated..I had actually overshot my landing, and had almost doublecorked. So I got up and laughed my head off. " HAHAHAHHA..i LOVE THIS", I screamed into the air. I picked up my shoes, and started walking back home, when I thought " alright, who cares, just one more ". So i did the now familiar spin setup, kicked into the air, and twisted, fully expecting to receive a nice mouthful of grass as a reward, when suddenly I landed. I landed cleanly, almost standing..and realized..I had just landed a perfect cork.
" ZOMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" I exclaimed outloud, and literally ran in circles around the field like a fool for the next 5 minutes, just laughing at the ridiculousness of how I got the cork. Eventually, I cooled down enough to come back to my senses. " That's enough excitement for one day, it's time to start my work again" I thought, and started walking back down the path. As I approached my street again, out of the bushes, I spotted the deer. It was the same deer! It was as if Mr. Deer had appeared so as to congratulate me. Or maybe it was God taking the form of a deer, and acknowledging me. Whatever it was, it was a strange feeling that rushed through my body, and permeated my very core.
For a moment we just stood there, staring at each other, gazing into the depths of the universe. " Thank you, Mr. Deer..." I mouthed, and reached out my hand. And the deer burst into a run..Through the bushes, over the gulley...and right into the street. " Oh no..noooo fucking way...omfg...noo wayy holy shiiiiiit" I thought, and right in front of my very eyes not 20 feet away, Mr. Deer was COMPLETELY nailed by a passing honda civic and was launched into the air about 30 feet. It was the single most unbelievable thing I have ever witnessed. The deer was hit HEAD ON, and went FLYINGGG, where it proceded to do FOUR complete horizontal spins. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the deer did a fucking quad-cork, and I just got owned in the most unbelievable way possible. Even more unbelievable, it landed in the bushes on the other side of the street, stood up and WALKED AWAY
So I just stood there, in complete and utter shock, while a million thoughts simultaneously ran through my head. "WWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW IN HEAVEN DID IT POSSIBLY MANAGE TO SURVIVE???? HOW DID IT NOT GET RIPPED TO PIECES AND COAT THE STREET IN BLOOD??? WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SEEE???......OH MY GODD WAS THAT ACCIDENT TECHNICALLY MY FAULT???????" Eventually I managed to pull myself together, and ran to the car, to help the guy inside out. Thank God in heaven that he was alright. He escaped without a single scratch on him, whereas the whole front of his car was gone, and his windshield and the top of his roof had almost completely caved in. Had the car gone .1 km faster, I am completely sure that the deer would have penetrated the windshield, and there would have been two very dead individuals right in front of me. But thank God that he had managed to escape completely unharmed. So I talked to the poor guy, made sure he was alright, and ran back home to take a very quick cold shower, and make him a sandwich..and when I got back..he was gone, the car was gone, and all traces of anything ever happening had vanished.
I ate the sandwich there in front of the street, contemplating just exactly what had transpired, and what any of it meant. Suffice to say, I have no idea what it all means, but at least two things are clear. One, the day I landed my first cork will forever be ingrained in my mind, and two; I experienced the true meaning of the words "owned.", "devastated", and "beast", when I saw a deer do a quad-cork 30 feet into the air, land, and live. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Story of the Corking Deer.
The Story of the Corking Deer
By: Allen Agunday
June 1st 2006 started as any normal boring day. I got up at the crack of noon (haha), and had a quick breakfast-lunch-lunchfast-whatever of what was available to microwave in the fridge (on that day I turned out to be lucky..there was rice and stirfry!). Afterwards I did my morning routine of stretches and an episode of korean drama before breaking out the books for a full day of studying. Eventually I got around to starting my readings and note taking for the day, and did that for the next 4 or 5 hours. That much nonstop studying will kill anyone, so after my 5th consecutive hour on integrals (hooray calculus), I decided to go for a random walk.
So I got up from my desk and just started walking around aimlessly. At first I just walked in circles around my house, then after realizing how pointless that was, I decided to take a walk outside..you know, to soak up some vitamin D. So off I went onto the great outdoors..of my street. I had no real destination and just wanted to walk so I just started walking mindlessly in the first direction that came to mind. In this case, it was left. Eventually, I came to the end of my street (alas, every journey must come to an end..), and was just about to turn around when I noticed a bike path off to the side. It was further exploration of this mysterious path or more integration I thought to myself, and decided that the fundamental theorem of calculus could wait another hour.
Down the path I went, soaking up the sun and enjoying the feeling of the cool breeze and the sound of birds chirping. As I walked further and further down the path, I noticed a patch of really green grass off in the distance. As I got closer and closer, I realized that it was a large soccer field hidden amidst the trees. " Ehh, wtf?" I thought to myself as I approched, and when I finally got to the field I was in awe. This was the most beautifully kept grass of any field id ever been on, completely isolated in the middle of a forest ( i later discovered I had stumbled onto the portugese club soccer field ). It was the perfect height; just long enough that when you step on it, it matts down a bit to provide more cushioning, and just soft enough that you could smash your face on it and get up smiling. In essence, it was THE tricking field. So obviously, I just had to bust out a few tricks and have an impromptu training session then and there.
I threw out a few kicks at the beginning, but took it slow since I was still so sore from taekwondo a couple days before. Eventually I got into the groove of it and started throwing the usual btwists, doublelegs, 540hooks etc, and trying to work them into combos. After awhile, I ran out of tricks I had mastered and figured I may as well work on stuff I need to learn before TO gathering. In my case, this was the infamous Corkscrew; which for the uninformed, is a move where you setup with a spinning step, throw your first leg into the air straight up, then twist on a horizontal axis 540 degrees, before landing. Done right, it's a jaw droppingly impressive move. It took a few false starts for me to gather the courage, but eventually I got around to throwing a preliminary attempt. So up and up I went, spin spin spin, then as expected, my first big wipeout of the day. I spit out the grass that I had eaten and gave it another go. Another crash. Then another. And another..and another...
Eventually I started getting bruised up, and was losing confidence. " Okay, once more" I resolved to myself, and gave it another go. So up up up I went, twisted hard...and found my self face down on the ground again, with a mouthful of grass. But as I sat up, I saw the most beautiful sight ever. Out from between the trees, emerged a young deer, its delicate frame majestically set against a backdrop of sunlit forest. It was straight out of a movie, like that one scene in "Princess Mononoke", where the protagonist sees the elk emmerge from between the trees. We looked at each other, and in that instant, I felt in touch with nature. I could feel every blade of grass, the flow of the air, and time seemed to stop. I had achieved...bankai..
" Thank you, Mr. Deer.." I thought to myself, and the fawn disappeared into the forest. " Alright, just one more time, I will own you, corkscrew.", I said to myself with a strenghtened resolve, and vowed to give it one final shot. So I dug my heels in, took the step, turned over, and kicked as hard as I could into the air. Up and Up I went twisting with all my might, as fast as I could. And I saw the ground..I had spotted the ground! All it would take was to stick my leg down and..
..I crashed. The biggest, hardest wipeout I've ever had trying to learn any trick. I crashed flat on my left side, was completely winded, and could see all the stars in the nightsky. But I had landed on my side..what was going on..I had overrotated..I had actually overshot my landing, and had almost doublecorked. So I got up and laughed my head off. " HAHAHAHHA..i LOVE THIS", I screamed into the air. I picked up my shoes, and started walking back home, when I thought " alright, who cares, just one more ". So i did the now familiar spin setup, kicked into the air, and twisted, fully expecting to receive a nice mouthful of grass as a reward, when suddenly I landed. I landed cleanly, almost standing..and realized..I had just landed a perfect cork.
" ZOMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" I exclaimed outloud, and literally ran in circles around the field like a fool for the next 5 minutes, just laughing at the ridiculousness of how I got the cork. Eventually, I cooled down enough to come back to my senses. " That's enough excitement for one day, it's time to start my work again" I thought, and started walking back down the path. As I approached my street again, out of the bushes, I spotted the deer. It was the same deer! It was as if Mr. Deer had appeared so as to congratulate me. Or maybe it was God taking the form of a deer, and acknowledging me. Whatever it was, it was a strange feeling that rushed through my body, and permeated my very core.
For a moment we just stood there, staring at each other, gazing into the depths of the universe. " Thank you, Mr. Deer..." I mouthed, and reached out my hand. And the deer burst into a run..Through the bushes, over the gulley...and right into the street. " Oh no..noooo fucking way...omfg...noo wayy holy shiiiiiit" I thought, and right in front of my very eyes not 20 feet away, Mr. Deer was COMPLETELY nailed by a passing honda civic and was launched into the air about 30 feet. It was the single most unbelievable thing I have ever witnessed. The deer was hit HEAD ON, and went FLYINGGG, where it proceded to do FOUR complete horizontal spins. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the deer did a fucking quad-cork, and I just got owned in the most unbelievable way possible. Even more unbelievable, it landed in the bushes on the other side of the street, stood up and WALKED AWAY
So I just stood there, in complete and utter shock, while a million thoughts simultaneously ran through my head. "WWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW IN HEAVEN DID IT POSSIBLY MANAGE TO SURVIVE???? HOW DID IT NOT GET RIPPED TO PIECES AND COAT THE STREET IN BLOOD??? WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SEEE???......OH MY GODD WAS THAT ACCIDENT TECHNICALLY MY FAULT???????" Eventually I managed to pull myself together, and ran to the car, to help the guy inside out. Thank God in heaven that he was alright. He escaped without a single scratch on him, whereas the whole front of his car was gone, and his windshield and the top of his roof had almost completely caved in. Had the car gone .1 km faster, I am completely sure that the deer would have penetrated the windshield, and there would have been two very dead individuals right in front of me. But thank God that he had managed to escape completely unharmed. So I talked to the poor guy, made sure he was alright, and ran back home to take a very quick cold shower, and make him a sandwich..and when I got back..he was gone, the car was gone, and all traces of anything ever happening had vanished.
I ate the sandwich there in front of the street, contemplating just exactly what had transpired, and what any of it meant. Suffice to say, I have no idea what it all means, but at least two things are clear. One, the day I landed my first cork will forever be ingrained in my mind, and two; I experienced the true meaning of the words "owned.", "devastated", and "beast", when I saw a deer do a quad-cork 30 feet into the air, land, and live. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Story of the Corking Deer.