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Skilzat85X
Oct-15-07, 11:42 AM
For English we had to choose a persuasive essay based on an article we read in a magazine. I don't care that much about schooling, so I decided to take the cheap easy way out and write about an article in a women's fitness magazine which is obviously full of bs. Anyways, have a read if you want:

Oh by the way, I already knew all this information off the top of my head, but I still quickly googled a bunch of related articles just to bs it so I could have some sources and thus get a good grade lol.
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Aaron Leonard
English 101
Prof. Monica Riley
October 15, 2007

Modern Day Mythologies – A Bunch of Booty

When one desires to read mythological literature, they may be inclined to look over such famous pieces as Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey. But for a very colorful and visual alternative, one can quickly browse over some of today’s most mythological texts available: women’s fitness magazines. I can safely assure the reader of the validity of my claims, given a little more insight to be provided in this paper.

I picked up one of my mom’s copies of Prevention magazine, and was quickly and mercilessly bombarded with “get-fit-quick” schemes plastering the front cover. I opened towards the table of contents in search of an article with which I could easily make my point: the point that these magazines are filled with gimmicks and incomplete facts, in order to keep sales flying high. But, this was not that easy of a task, for as I perused for the appropriate article, I was under constant attack from promises of “toning and sculpting” your body, “revving your metabolism”, and magically “looking younger” after becoming old. Perhaps I would be able to make my argument, given my head didn’t explode first.

And just when I thought I couldn’t make it, I finally arrived at my desired article on page 120, “Sculpt a Beautiful Backside.” The subtext offers to “boost your butt in just 4 moves that can tailor to your fitness level.” Well, I should immediately disqualify them for using such words as “sculpt” and “boost”, but that wouldn’t be helping anyone. So, I continued looking through this article. The first sentence, that was not part of a picture caption, asked the reader if they thought gravity had affected their butt since they became 40, causing it to droop down obviously. My first thought was, “What in the world would a woman older than 40 be doing trying to have an attractive butt?” It seems some people just don’t know when to give up, for apparently having an attractive backside when you’re over 40 will make the difference between whether you’re healthy, young, beautiful, and going to live forever with than man of your dreams, or whether you better be ready to die alone at the age of 50.

Getting back to the point, the article then goes on to state that these 4 “targeted toners” will fight against “age related drop”, using every bit of, dare I say it, “sculpting power” in each movement, and that in just one month, they’ll have a “sleek, shapely silhouette at any age.” Well, thank you Prevention magazine, now every time I see an attractive woman in the moonlight, I’ll have to worry if she’s really 50 years old.

The article then suggests for a woman to make use of 3 to 5 pound dumbbells for these exercises. But heck, why use those dumbbells when you can do the same amount of work lifting air? It says to do each workout 3 times a week, with 2 sets of 10 repetitions for each workout. And finally, it says “for quicker results”, do 3 sets (oh man, what a huge improvement!) and then add 30 minutes of, good lord, “butt-targeting” cardio. Yes, butt-targeting cardio ladies and gentlemen. Apparently, someone’s going to try to bust a cap, specifically aiming at your behind while you’re on the treadmill.

Finally, the rest of the article consists of pictures, descriptions, and instructions for the 4 exercises to help us sculpt our butts. Oh would you look at that, they even give us instructions for making each exercise easier and harder, how nice of them. And now, after putting my face in my palm many times from dismay, I have completed reading this article. Sure, I couldn’t help but cringe after every sentence, but at least I made it.

The exercises presented in this article most likely do target the muscles of the butt, such as the gluteus maximus, everyone’s favorite. However, it’s very safe to say that doing this routine will help you “sculpt a beautiful backside.” In fact, it’s safe to say it most likely won’t do something your butt is very good at: crap.

The first problem with this article, at least for the women over 40 it targets, is that your butt isn’t going to start falling because your muscles aren’t strong enough to hold your derriere up. I mean, why wouldn’t they be? They’d be holding up all the flesh on your butt for your entire life, so they would only get stronger, especially as you gain more weight. And we all know that nobody would be reading this magazine if they didn’t feel they had gained weight. What this article speaks nothing of is the fact that one’s skin will be stretching and getting weaker. Thus, the mass of one’s rear is allowed to fall, since the skin is not as strong as it used to be, thus it could not hold up ones assets as well as it used to.

Well, there you are, proof that this article is full of it. Wait, what is this you say? You aren’t a woman over 40; you just want to sculpt your backside? You want to do it in a month like the article promises? Well then, it’s time to pull out the big guns.

I will first start off plainly by saying that spot reduction is a huge, gargantuan myth. By working out one part of the body, you will not, at all, ever, be able to target fat loss specifically to that region of your body. Exercising your butt muscles, even if done with the most effective, perfect exercises ever in the history of the universe, will not decrease the fat around those areas. It doesn’t matter how much “burn” you feel. And I don’t care how many times you’ve read that it’s actually possible in magazines, because those are all out to tickle people’s ears, and give people what they want to hear. And I don’t care if you’ve even heard a personal trainer, or someone with a gimmicky DVD say that it’s possible either. It’s obvious those aren’t true personal trainers, they’re just salesmen. If you want to lose fat in one area, get a liposuction. Other than that, you’re going to have to do things the hard way, or what we like to call, the right way.

In relation to this, this article also speaks absolutely nothing of nutrition and calories, which both have a direct impact on muscle gain and fat loss. I must mention this to back up my spot reduction claims. If one has consumed more calories (in food, of course) than their body needs to sustain itself, then they will gain weight. If they have consumed fewer calories than their body needs, they will lose weight. Those are scientific facts. The weight gain or lost will either be in muscle and fat, the amount of gain or loss in each depending on how active or inactive a person and their respect body parts are.

The fat stored on your body is all just calories that never got used. So, when one person has a calorie deficit, the body then has to take energy from somewhere. Thus, it has the body’s stores of fat it can use to sustain its caloric needs. And for some, this may be a heaping load of goodness that the body can use, hurray! By the way, one pound of fat is 3,500 calories (kilocalories, if you want to get technical), so fat loss takes a lot of work and a lot of time. Now, when the body takes its energy from fat, do you think it cares where it takes it from? Is it going to say, “Oh look, we just did a bunch of blasphemous butt blasting workouts, I think I’ll take fat away from that are.” No, it does not work that way. One’s fat and muscles are in no way inter-related, in terms of using a muscle having any effect on the fat surrounding it. To that end, if your butt is sagging full of fat, these exercises are not going to do a darn thing for you in terms of losing fat from that region. And there is yet another point discrediting this article.

But, wait just a second, this article offers to build up our butt muscles too! We’re going to sculpt ourselves, right? Not possible. By doing these exercises, you’re not going to get shapely butt muscles and lower your fat. This is the “toning” myth, a myth which basically states that you can build muscle and burn fat at the same time, usually with the same workout. This is impossible. As said before, you lose weight when you have fewer calories than you need, and gain weight when you have more than you need. So you can only do one or the other over a period of time, and this is excusing the fact that we already proved that you cannot lose fat from just one area. Depending on your dieting habits, you’re either going to lose weight, which means you may lose fat in that area, since you’re going to learn it evenly from all over your body. Either that, or you’re going to be gaining more weight, and you just might be gaining muscle in that area. Either way it happens, you are not going to be toning that area.

These exercises will most likely not even result in any increase in muscle size. Why? Ok, they have you handling 3 to 5 pound dumbbells. I will tell you this now; 3 to 5 pound dumbbells for anything will be close to completely useless. You might as well just put on another shirt, because it will have about the same effect as those miniscule dumbbells.

For muscular hypertrophy, which basically means a growth in the size of the muscle, my sources from acefitness.org and buffdirectory.com recommend 70-85% of the weight of one’s one rep maximum, or basically how much they’re able to lift for whatever exercise. Now if 5 pounds is what this article recommends for weight, that would make the one rep maximum about 7-8 pounds. Now if any non-crippled human being, of any gender, cannot lift any more than 7-8 pounds, they must have severe flesh eating disorder eating away at their muscles as we speak.

From a chart on ExRx.net, a completely untrained woman weighing around 124 pounds should still at least be able to deadlift 70 pounds. I used deadlifting for an example because it is a very good exercise which focuses greatly on the gluteus maximus muscles. So there we see, there is absolutely no excuse for the pathetic amount of single-digit weight which is commonly recommended by these types of magazines. Lifting the weight should be strenuous, because let’s face it, if building muscle was as easy as lifting something that weighs as much as a book, America would be filled with strong, buff, fit people. But instead it’s filled with the greater majority of unfit, sedentary people, no offense to anyone of course.

The article recommends 10 reps for each set for each exercise. Well, even if we were using reasonable amount of weight for it, the recommended amount of repetitions for muscle size gain is 6 to 8 repetitions. My sources at hypertrophy-specifc.com and ericcressey.com confirm this. These exercises will most likely not provide for any increase in muscle mass.

And finally, this article states that you can get your perfect, peachy butt in one month, as well as slim your thighs. Well, don’t ask me where “slim your thighs” came from, though I can probably picture the scenario as they were editing this magazine: “Gee, Prevention Employee #2, how else can we make people reading this magazine believe that this crap we’re writing will actually do anything useful?” “I don’t know Prevention Employee #1. Wait a second, let’s throw in the obligatory ‘it will slim your thighs’, since apparently all women want that result, too.” “Good thinking Prevention Employee #2! Even though it is completely unrelated to any of these exercises, as long as we tell them it these workouts will give them something they want, we’re bound to get very high sales and increase the amount of people we have doing stupid looking exercises all over the nation. And what’s more, we’ll have them pretend they can get it all done in one month. Ha ha ha!” And the laughter of the two employees fades into the night…

At any rate, whether it’s building muscle or losing fat, it is always going to take much more time than one month. My source at acefitness.org said it took four to six weeks to notice any result at all in one study. And that’s with people actually following a proper structured workout plan, along with a proper diet. This article, or magazine, gives no guidelines as to either of those. In fact, this magazine is centered on losing weight and controlling calories, so there’s almost no way that any of woman reading this magazine and actually, God forbid, taking any of it seriously, will be eating enough calories to expedite muscle growth.

So there you have it, much undeniable proof that you should prevent yourself from following the workout plans in Prevention magazine, much less any other women’s fitness magazine. Actually, many men’s fitness magazines are just as bad; it’s just that the fitness industry tries to target women more so they can stay young, slim, sexy, and able to get that young guy down the street for the rest of their life, even if they’re already old and married.

My suggestion to you if you want to “sculpt a beautiful” backside is simple. First, do lots of cardio and maybe weight training (for metabolic increase reason only, don’t expect to get any bigger muscles while you’re losing weight), along with eating fewer calories. This will help you lose weight in fat over the course of a few months. After that, hit the weights and do lots of stuff like deadlifts, with 6-8 repetitions per set, done regularly. And eat a lot. There you are: a sculpted backside in one paragraph. And you didn’t have to buy a magazine, subscribe to a magazine, or sit through an article using a bunch of gimmicky and deceiving terms. Hopefully next time you look at those “toning” and “sculpting,” exercises in commercial fitness magazines, you’ll think twice before being tempted to try any of them. For further reading on proper fitness techniques, please visit some of the websites provided in my bibliography.

Skilzat85X
Oct-15-07, 11:42 AM
Bibliography

ExRx.net. "Fat Loss & Weight Training Myths." October 15, 2007. <http://www.exrx.net/WeightTraining/Myths.html>.
ExRx.net. "Toning With Weights." October 15, 2007. <http://www.exrx.net/WeightTraining/Toning.html>.
Bryan Haycock. "Hypertrophy Specific Training." October 15, 2007. <http://www.hypertrophy-specific.com/hst_II.html>.
ACE Fitness. "Weight Training Hypertrophy." European Journal of Applied Physiology. October 15, 2007. <http://www.acefitness.org/fitfacts/fitbits_display.aspx?itemid=313>.
ExRx.net. "Deadlift Strength Standards." October 15, 2007. <http://www.exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/Deadlift>.
Bodybuildings Buff Directory. "Imiola Basic Sports Strength." March 8, 2007. October 15, 2007. <http://www.buffdirectory.com/contentid-41.html>.
Jimmy Smith. "Seven Requirements for Building Functional Hypertrophy." October 15, 2007. <http://www.ericcressey.com/functionalseven.html>.
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End!

frankinstine
Oct-15-07, 11:44 AM
a bunch of booty! lol. i'll read the rest later, but so far its gold. lolz.

Dark Phoenix
Oct-15-07, 12:00 PM
Great paper Skilzat, very well written and informative.

NOT Muscle Man
Oct-15-07, 12:10 PM
that was great :good::good:

anerky
Oct-15-07, 12:12 PM
you are a very skilled and entertaining writer

kamikaze!
Oct-15-07, 12:22 PM
Youll get an E



























































naaaaaaah ;D

Nicholai
Oct-15-07, 01:31 PM
you are a very skilled and entertaining writer

Yes, I agree. I very much enjoyed your humorous style of writing. :good: I hope you get a good grade for actually having an interesting read, rather than a boring, mediocre school essay!

compleks
Oct-15-07, 05:39 PM
Haha, nicely done.

short gorilla
Oct-16-07, 01:59 AM
Did you get graded on this yet? I only read half of it but I got the idea that you destroyed that article and anyone who buys those magazines.

Sam H
Oct-16-07, 02:18 AM
“butt-targeting” cardio

:dead:

Felipe
Oct-16-07, 02:40 AM
Very good...my mum will read this

compleks
Oct-16-07, 04:56 AM
Did you get graded on this yet? I only read half of it but I got the idea that you destroyed that article and anyone who buys those magazines.

You better hope your teacher doesn't read that magazine, Skilzat.

Skilzat85X
Oct-16-07, 07:28 AM
Ahaha.

Nah I had to read my article in front of the class. Many laughs and much commendation so I doubt I'll be getting beat up for it haha. My teacher said it was awesome so ehh.
I was hesitant to present though because there were only like 4 other guys in that class haha. But the dude before me had some paper about women and how they need to cut us some slack and crap ahaha, so I'm like ok ez.

I probably won't get my grade for another two weeks, I only have that class once a week yaaay.

I dunno if it'll be an A though, while reading it to the class I caught a few of my word replacement errors. :dead:


Oh yea thanks guys. :razz:

Torre
Oct-16-07, 11:38 AM
Great essay. My favourite part was "And the laughter of the two employees fades into the night…" :smile:

Bashy14
Oct-17-07, 03:36 AM
Hahahah i loved the paper, really comprehensive and well written :smile: When i read the “What in the world would a woman older than 40 be doing trying to have an attractive butt?” part i was thinking about how great itd be if ur teacher was a 40+ year old female.. heheh :wicked:

Birch
Oct-17-07, 04:56 AM
haha you shit all over that!
and is your teacher a 40+ female by any chance?

Rahf
Oct-17-07, 09:07 AM
Skilzat that was :good:. I don't really have anything else to add being all serious bizniz shiznit Swede!!

Hrrm.. Carry on.

Ashtar
Oct-17-07, 05:01 PM
1 legged deadlift vs 1 legged hyperextension!

AJCN
Oct-18-07, 05:40 AM
And finally, this article states that you can get your perfect, peachy butt in one month.

:shocked:

Skilzat85X
Oct-18-07, 12:08 PM
haha you shit all over that!
and is your teacher a 40+ female by any chance?

Yes ahahaha.

Less than Dan
Oct-18-07, 12:49 PM
Skilzat, although the paper was, as I think, very well written, there are a few things you should watch out for, since this is going to be turned in for a grade:

1. You keep a relatively minimalist style of writing, so you don't bog down your paper with words that readers would not understand. You keep it to normal speech, and that is great. However, since you write as such, watch out for using two adjectives to describe the same trait. For example, "huge, gargantuan myth" can be simplified, since "huge" and "gargantuan" are basically the same thing. You do it in a few other cases, and eliminating these small "repetitions" can help rid the paper of a lot of unneeded clutter. A lot of english teachers like to pick on that.

2. Do NOT start sentences/paragraphs with prepositions. I saw sentences (and even paragraphs) starting with "and" and "but", and I cringed. Your english teacher is going to pick on that.

3. Semi colon use. Don't use a semi colon to start another clause after a question unless you're either answering the question or expanding the question. As well, there is a case in there where there is an dependent clause used after a semi colon. Yikes.

4. Ditch conclusion sentences. "Sentences like "And that is another point discrediting..." are going to get picked on, because the whole point of your body paragraphs is to explain your point without having to fully hand it to your readers. Your body paragraphs are more than good enough to explain your point without having to tell your reader full out :)

5. Write out numbers below 100. I know it's a stupid rule, but it's just how it goes in composition :(

6. Please please please please watch your tone. Sarcasm is a very hard tone to use. If you're going to write your paper based on an invective point of view for a persuasive paper, make sure the sarcasm does not leak into the body paragraphs supporting your claims. Readers who do not know the kind of information that you're talking about could easily get confused. Remember, by default, since you chose to write about "women's magazines", your target audience is going to be all people who do not know this kind of physiology information, especially middle age women. Just as your paper supports, middle aged women don't know anything about these kinds of exercises. Sarcasm can blur what a reader sees as write and wrong.

7. This paragraph...
And finally, this article states that you can get your perfect, peachy butt in one month, as well as slim your thighs. Well, don’t ask me where “slim your thighs” came from, though I can probably picture the scenario as they were editing this magazine: “Gee, Prevention Employee #2, how else can we make people reading this magazine believe that this crap we’re writing will actually do anything useful?” “I don’t know Prevention Employee #1. Wait a second, let’s throw in the obligatory ‘it will slim your thighs’, since apparently all women want that result, too.” “Good thinking Prevention Employee #2! Even though it is completely unrelated to any of these exercises, as long as we tell them it these workouts will give them something they want, we’re bound to get very high sales and increase the amount of people we have doing stupid looking exercises all over the nation. And what’s more, we’ll have them pretend they can get it all done in one month. Ha ha ha!” And the laughter of the two employees fades into the night…
As much as I love this paragraph, it's gotta go. As funny as it is, you're trying to persuade your audience more than you're trying to make them laugh. If you're trying to prove a point that is serious, keep in mind that humor can seriously derail anything that is meaningful.

I'm sorry if I pass off as a total dick, but I'm an english tutor, and I just like to help out a bit when it comes to things like this :) I love the paper overall, but you always have to keep in mind that, in an english class, you've gotta write exactly how the teacher wants you, or your grade is going to suffer.

Skilzat85X
Oct-18-07, 01:03 PM
Hahaha thank you Dan. Very nice tipppps.

At any rate, I guess I'll have to find out exactly what grade I'm going to get on this paper. My teacher is a very happy and encouraging women who likes seeing everyone's style of writing, thus I felt like being more cavalier in my writing, hehehe.
Plus I like the humor, just because that's my style. :smile: Besides, when you have absolute scientific facts on your side, it basically doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because it's true. Mwahah.


But anyways I shall take under heavy advisement many of the grammatical etc rules (semi-colons, preposition, conclusion sentences etc). When it comes to tone and sarcasm hmmm, well I'll have to see :wink:. I know the audience I'm writing for and I know my teacher likes my style of writing, so I'll have to see what grade this turns back from her to see. Obviously I in the future I better watch out for who my professor is and what there tastes are, for I think in a more strict higher English class the professors would not be so kind to my sarcastic style.
I have another paper that I'm going to turn out for next monday and I'm probably going to write in the same sarcastic humorous style haha, thought since it's more of an opinion/touchy subject I'm going to have to tone it done and focus more on the actual points.
Maybe I'll pass it by you. :wink:

compleks
Oct-18-07, 04:02 PM
Skilzat, although the paper was, as I think, very well written, there are a few things you should watch out for, since this is going to be turned in for a grade:

1. You keep a relatively minimalist style of writing, so you don't bog down your paper with words that readers would not understand. You keep it to normal speech, and that is great. However, since you write as such, watch out for using two adjectives to describe the same trait. For example, "huge, gargantuan myth" can be simplified, since "huge" and "gargantuan" are basically the same thing. You do it in a few other cases, and eliminating these small "repetitions" can help rid the paper of a lot of unneeded clutter. A lot of english teachers like to pick on that.

2. Do NOT start sentences/paragraphs with prepositions. I saw sentences (and even paragraphs) starting with "and" and "but", and I cringed. Your english teacher is going to pick on that.

3. Semi colon use. Don't use a semi colon to start another clause after a question unless you're either answering the question or expanding the question. As well, there is a case in there where there is an dependent clause used after a semi colon. Yikes.

4. Ditch conclusion sentences. "Sentences like "And that is another point discrediting..." are going to get picked on, because the whole point of your body paragraphs is to explain your point without having to fully hand it to your readers. Your body paragraphs are more than good enough to explain your point without having to tell your reader full out :)

5. Write out numbers below 100. I know it's a stupid rule, but it's just how it goes in composition :(

6. Please please please please watch your tone. Sarcasm is a very hard tone to use. If you're going to write your paper based on an invective point of view for a persuasive paper, make sure the sarcasm does not leak into the body paragraphs supporting your claims. Readers who do not know the kind of information that you're talking about could easily get confused. Remember, by default, since you chose to write about "women's magazines", your target audience is going to be all people who do not know this kind of physiology information, especially middle age women. Just as your paper supports, middle aged women don't know anything about these kinds of exercises. Sarcasm can blur what a reader sees as write and wrong.

7. This paragraph...

As much as I love this paragraph, it's gotta go. As funny as it is, you're trying to persuade your audience more than you're trying to make them laugh. If you're trying to prove a point that is serious, keep in mind that humor can seriously derail anything that is meaningful.

I'm sorry if I pass off as a total dick, but I'm an english tutor, and I just like to help out a bit when it comes to things like this :) I love the paper overall, but you always have to keep in mind that, in an english class, you've gotta write exactly how the teacher wants you, or your grade is going to suffer.

Wow, good points, Dan.
I always managed to write reasonable well, and return decent grades in English (on the rare occasions when I actually submitted my work).
Though I never realised how much theory, and how many rules there were to writing. As interesting as it is, I think alot of the rules are unnecessary, and most English teachers are over analytical when it comes to these things.

Ashtar
Oct-18-07, 04:51 PM
Very cool essay.

Skilzat85X
Nov-01-07, 04:33 PM
UPDATES:

I got my paper back from my teacher. You can read all the notes and such she put on my paper here:

http://www.justtheskills.com/mypaper.pdf

compleks
Nov-01-07, 04:40 PM
Excellent work, Skilz.

Alot of the corrections seemed kind of pointless to me, but I'm not an English teacher.

Also, her handwriting is pretty poor.