Flex Like You Mean It :: WARNING - Adult Link Inside

[Sen]

http://www.desertcolossus.com/zelda11/link1.jpg

Anyway, after getting back into tricking and picking up some new moves, I realized, upon closer inspection courtesy of 8x Slow-Mo, that I had completely overlooked flexibility. FUCK.

I've read Juji's articles three times+ over (all of them), and although I have a basic idea of the wide array of stretches out there... well, I figured before starting this up I'd get some more personal advice.

My goal is to stretch for progress this month and settle into a schedule after that. I'm really only interested in leg flexibility, especially the hamstrings. Since stretching shouldn't eat up more than a half hour per session, I'm willing to do whatever it takes for the quickest possible progress. Isometrics, according to Juji, seem to be my best bet, but... well, they're completely unfamiliar and, while I don't suck, my stretches are paltry at best atm.

I'M SORRY AM I BORING YOU? Yeah, well, I'd like some legit advice here from whatever flexibility gurus we've got here. Call me impatient, but I'd like to see some results in, at most, a month.

Specific stretches? Some form of daily/weekly plan? Any and every bit of advice would be greatly appreciated. THANKS TT, MAYBE SOMEDAY I'LL POST PICS OF ME DOING A NAKED SIDE SPLIT IN MY SCHOOL'S GYMNASIUM. I PROMISE. :smile:

[Lukas]

Work your splits, and test splits 3 times each day for a month, you will progress much.

[Confucius]

Haha. Don't just work your fucking splits. You've read Juji's articles so just apply them, starting from more specific to more general stretches. I've personally stuck with dynamic and static because isometrics feel weird. You'll probably progress faster if you do it everyday.

[Hez]

Try to get hold of "Relax into Stretching" by Pavel Tsatsouline (or however you spell it), that book helped me understand how to stretch much more effectively. Not that Juji's articles are by any means incorrect, it's just that a whole book is obviously more likely to go into more depth. (torrent it btw)

[Sen]

Aight, so, I had splits in mind anyway, so I'll work on those, but not exclusively. While attempting to split I will simultaneously torrent Relax Into Stretching and write up a weekly plan.

I'll be back to this thread later after some reading and planning. Thanks!

[Hez]

If your flexibility is as bad as mine (which it probably isn't) don't go for front split straight away. I had to stretch my hams and hip flexors for a fairly long time on their own before I could even get into front split position to start practising it : D

[SeanS]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! thread title is win! you had me going.

anyway one tip i would give is do lots of inside/outside crescents and hooks/rounds on both legs most days and side leg raises. try to push it a bit everytime and along with the other stuff people have said it should really help.

[Graber]

And where is the adult link u queer?

[SeanS]

Right at the beginning.

[Sen]

Aight, so I'll ease into splits and see if I can't get them by mid-June. In addition, I'll also do a dynamic stretching warmdown after tricking! Thanks Sean & Hez!

AND THANK YOU GRABER. You being a complete fag saves everyone else here the trouble of doing so! So even if you're a worthless cunt... you're our worthless cunt!

[Graber]

I shit on your nose bitch.

[-Envy-]

I shit on your nose bitch.

It's about time for me to steal a graber quote for mine sig.

[Sen]

Ha ha haaaa, I'm honored. I'll post results in about a month or so.

[The_Mayor]

It's about time for me to steal a graber quote for mine sig.

ahaha! You beat me! I was about to add it to my collection. :smile:

P.S. Adult Link was brilliant!

[Ashtar]

Is it time to post a link to the flash of him fucking Midna yet?

[Lukas]

Wow, I just got the "Adult Link".....*facepalm*

[Ashtar]

http://wii.jeuxvideo.org/files/MaaAx/News/Photos%20nulles/Zelda%20funny.jpghttp://www.ionlitio.com/images/2007/06/zelda_navi_indiscreta.jpg

[luke walka]

lol adult link. took me a second. at first i thot u just posted it there. i cant really help u with stretching cause im naturally good at it. but i can tell u this. when u do get the splits and u show it to people, if they say dude u dont have any balls, this is what theyre really saying. "dude I wish I could do that but I can't and I don't have the patience to work up to it so I'm gonna make fun of you.' tell them witty remarks such as 'my balls don't get in the way, but i guess you wouldn't know how balls work..." trust me leaves them with the dumb come backs like, 'but yo mamma kno bout balls,' or 'i think u got it the wrong way around.' ttly lame!!! say it ftw!!!

[Sen]

>>http://www.vimeo.com/4083409<<

Sunday – Flexibility
Monday – Chest/Back
Tuesday – Flexibility
Wednesday – Legs
Thursday – Flexibility
Friday –Shoulders/Arms
Saturday – Flexibility

Flexibility
6:15 – Wake Up
6:25 – Outta Bed
6:30 – Dynamic Stretching
6:50 – Clothes, Teeth, etc.
7:00 – Farmwork
7:15 – Breakfast
7:45 – School
9:00 – Morning Snack
11:00 – Lunch
3:00 – Snack
5:30 – Snack
7:00 – Dinner
9:30 – Sleep Stack

Lifting
6:15 – Wake Up
6:25 – Outta Bed
6:50 – Clothes, Teeth, etc.
7:00 – Farmwork
7:15 – Breakfast
7:45 – School
9:00 – Morning Snack
11:00 – Lunch
3:00 – Snack
4:00 – Workout
5:30 – Snack
7:00 – Dinner
9:30 – Sleep Stack


Category
Subcategory
1) Exercise – Set:Repetition (Weight)

Flexibility
Dynamic
1) Front Lifts – 3:12
2) Back Lifts – 3:12
3) Side Lifts – 3:12
4) Inside Crescent Kicks – 3:10
5) Outside Crescent Kicks – 3:10

Chest/Back
Chest
1) Bench Press
2) Dips
3) Dumbbell Flyes
Back
1) Lat Pull Downs
2) Seated Row
3) Dumbbell Shrugs

Legs
1) Squats
2) Leg Press
3) Calf Press
4) Leg Curls
5) Calf Raises

Shoulders/Arms
Shoulders
1) Military Press
2) Barbell Behind Neck Press
3) Barbell Upright Row
Arms
1) Barbell Curl
2) Dumbbell Bench Press
3) Triceps Pushdown
4) Dips
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------

SCHEDULES. YES. ORGANIZATION :good: So I'll be filling in the Lifting plans soon... even though it's spring break, it's my Bday/Easter tomorrow, I'm trying to get a job on Tuesday, I get my Wisdom teeth out Thursday, and I have a billion school assignments, so I'm busy... god dammit.

I'm also tweaking my diet behind the scenes. Nothing out of the ordinary, just calorie counting for a week, seeing where I'm at, and making some adjustments.

This is here largely for my benefit, as yet another reminder posted in yet another spot where I'm bound to be, so I don't really expect too much traffic around here. As always, criticism is welcome, but this is really a little TT post-it to keep me on track.

[luke walka]

wait how the hell do u do farm work in 15 minutes???

[Graber]

So i see u have integrated into the flexibility routine the farm work. It must be a fresh one. Tom Kurz will be jelous.

[luke walka]

wait howd he intergrade the stretching into farmwork??? and how do u do farmwork in 15 minutes? do u mean like milking a cow and getting eggs from chicken or real farmwork like plowing the feilds??? i want some details man.

[Graber]

lol adult link. took me a second. at first i thot u just posted it there. i cant really help u with stretching cause im naturally good at it. but i can tell u this. when u do get the splits and u show it to people, if they say dude u dont have any balls, this is what theyre really saying. "dude I wish I could do that but I can't and I don't have the patience to work up to it so I'm gonna make fun of you.' tell them witty remarks such as 'my balls don't get in the way, but i guess you wouldn't know how balls work..." trust me leaves them with the dumb come backs like, 'but yo mamma kno bout balls,' or 'i think u got it the wrong way around.' ttly lame!!! say it ftw!!!

I agree with the balls thing. Man I even showed that the ppl who can split have balls.

[Sen]

Nah man, not like hardcore stuff, just feeding animals and collecting eggs. I don't do more than a few hours of "classic" farmwork a week.

And yes, the degree to which you can adduct your legs is directly proportional to your manhood. :good:

[luke walka]

I agree with the balls thing. Man I even showed that the ppl who can split have balls.

it just gets fucking annoying right? so i took a minute to brain storm come backs. i'm quite pleased with them its not that they're good but they catch em off guard and make em look like fools.